Navigating the Festive Season: Prioritizing Mental Wellbeing
As the festive season approaches, this can be a challenging time for many reasons, especially if you have a complicated relationship with family. There can be an invisible but nevertheless heavy pressure to have the ‘Hallmark’ family depicted on Movies & TV.
If you are finding this time difficult – please know you are not alone. Remember, at the end of the day, your mental health needs to be more important than pleasing other people. Please prioritise your wellbeing. People who truly care for you will understand and respect your boundaries and limits. Some ideas:
Practice checking in on yourself. If you notice things begin to feel ‘a bit much’ mentally, try to turn the volume down on any critical thoughts or take time out. This might mean having a book or tv show that refocuses away from the pressure around festivities. If you are able to take 5 minutes to yourself, you may find this can make a difference. If taking time out is not physically possible, making an effort to consciously focus thoughts on something different can make a difference to how you feel.
Focus on building new traditions. For example, I choose to put my Christmas decorations up at a particular point in time that was historically challenging for me. I find this gives me something to focus on and feel happy about. It is also something that is within my control.
Be prepared for some emotional pyrotechnics - sometimes anxiety or sad feelings can be a bit closer to the surface of our consciousness during times of year that are strong reminders of the past. In psychotherapy, one view is that the past is really always the context of the present. It make sense that feelings can therefore be a bit more heightened than usual. Something that can help with managing big emotions is the practice of ‘grounding’ - for me, I apply this by focusing my attention on 5 things I can see and 5 things I can hear. I find this an effective way to return to the present moment.
If you are based in Salisbury and get around the city centre, there are currently some lovely light installations in the shape of stars that are worth seeing. Really taking a minute to notice the surroundings; all the lights, sounds, smells and textures can be considered grounding which can help reduce feelings of anxiety. The important thing is to try different ways of calming yourself – something that can be called ‘regulating’ your nervous system. Something will usually help, however, because we are all different, there is no one-size-fits- all, so it is often a case of trial and error at first. NHS England has useful resources for grounding exercises here
If you have someone you trust, talk to them about any anxieties about the season. If you are able to get support through counselling or psychotherapy, this can also be a game changer, especially if you are trying to navigate challenging family dynamics which underpin your feelings of anxiety and depression. You don’t need to do this work alone. Your GP can be a good starting point for accessing support.
If you are interested in psychotherapy with me please get in touch here.
Resources:
Lisa Marie Therapy (me)
Standalone.org.uk – a charity dedicated to supporting people living with estrangement
Help Counselling offers donation based Counselling